Struggling with Doubt

Kyle Butt, M.Div.

Existence of Go

 Article in Brief

The Bible never paints doubt about the truths of Christianity in a favorable light. Doubt, like other sins, can cause serious harm and pain. What can sincere people do who feel they have done all that is within their power to believe in God, but still find themselves plagued by doubt? Jesus has the answer they are seeking.

When my oldest son was a about a year old, he began to have a cough. At first, my wife Bethany and I assumed it was a cold, but after several days, the cough did not go away. Not only did it not go away, it gradually grew worse and worse. I remember lying on the floor of his bedroom one night while he was sleeping in his crib coughing all night. As I listened, I timed his coughs that were coming roughly every 3-5 seconds (as I recall), all night long. About 20 coughs per minute, 1,200 coughs an hour, 12,000 coughs in a ten-hour night. It did not stop. We took him to every specialist we could. One doctor thought it might be chronic ear infections, so we put tubes in his ears, which did nothing. We bought a breathing machine and every night gave him a treatment of Pulmicort, a breathing medicine. I remember the little dragon-shaped mask he would wear as he sat breathing deeply from the breathing machine. If we missed only a few days of his treatments, the cough would immediately start again. It did not quit. We would have to explain to people that he was not sick, he just had a perpetual asthmatic cough. We did everything in our power to cure his cough. It took him about five years to grow out of it. Thankfully, it was not life-threatening, mostly just annoying.

I thought about my son as I read the story in Mark 9:14-29 of the demon-possessed boy and his father. In this episode of Jesus’ ministry, He and His three closest followers had been on the Mountain of Transfiguration, and they were rejoining the other apostles. As Jesus drew near, He saw a large multitude of people arguing with the apostles. When He inquired about the cause of the dispute, a man stepped forward and explained that he had brought his demon-possessed son to the apostles in order to be healed, but they could not cast out the evil spirit. When Jesus saw the son, the Bible explains that “the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth” (Mark 9:20). When Jesus asked the father how long this had been going on, the man said it had been happening to the son “from childhood,” indicating that it had been many years. What’s more, the father explained, “And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him” (Mark 9:22).

Let us pause here in the telling of the story and think about this distraught father. What do you think this man and his family had already tried in order to heal their son? No doubt they had visited every doctor and holy man within many miles, grasping at any hope that some new treatment or incantation would at last remove the evil spirit. Notice that this was no mere annoyance. This demon often attempted to kill the boy. How vigilant the family must have been in order to keep him alive this long. What measures had they taken to keep him safe? Did the mother and father alternate staying awake at night to watch and make sure the child did not come to harm? When they traveled, did they make sure the boy was not near water that would allure the demon to throw him in? How many times do you think they had paid a “professional” to heal their son, only to be disappointed? The fact that he still had the demon and was coming to Jesus shows us that all treatments up to that point were ineffective. Can you imagine how many times this persevering father had his hopes set on a cure, only to discover nothing worked? Have you ever tried something so many times, and had your hopes dashed so often, that you refused to get your hopes up because you just did not think you could handle one more failure?

As we jump back into the story, we hear the man say to Jesus, “But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us” (Mark 9:22). We can feel exactly where the man’s “if You can do anything” statement originated. He had most likely been through the drill dozens of times. He heard of a person that might could help. He visited that person and presented his son. The person did everything in his power to help, but the son remained possessed. In fact, that is exactly what had happened to this man earlier in this story. Most likely he had heard of the miracle working power of Jesus. He arrived to find Jesus absent and His followers healing all kinds of sickness and disease. Possibly, he watched other people be healed and even some demons be cast out (since the apostles were astonished that this one gave them trouble and was impossible for them to cast out, indicating that others were not). And yet, with every word and effort from the apostles, this man lost more and more hope. Once again, he had brought his innocent, tortured child to someone who he thought could help, and once again there was nothing that could be done, at least by the apostles. “If You can do anything,” was the most hopeful response he could muster for Jesus, because no one else ever had been able to “do anything” in this child’s case.

I am sure Jesus’ response shocked the man. He literally said to him, “If you can” (Mark 9:23, ESV). Think about that response. How much effort had the man put into protecting his son? How often had he tried to get him help? Surely, there was nothing more he could do. He could not heal the son himself! And yet, Jesus’ response forced him to recognize that something was lacking in his attempt. Jesus continued, “all things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:23). After all this man had done for his child, was there more he could do? What was Jesus trying to get him to see?

As I read the story again for this article, I can almost feel the man break down. He has come to the end of his rope. He has “believed” in so many people, practices, medicines, incantations, and nothing has ever worked. It is as if he does not have one more “belief” in him—not this time, not to have his heart broken again, not to face the crushing disappointment of going home with a child who will be plagued by this demon his whole life. “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:24). Can you hear the desperation in his voice? I can. I have been reading this story for more than 30 years and for many years missed the feeling of the father’s despair and helplessness, trying to convince Jesus that he was doing all he could do.

“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

I think this is where all of us find ourselves at one time or another in our lives. There are aspects about the Christian faith that, for some reason or particular circumstance in our lives, strike us as difficult to believe. Maybe it is the college freshman who is sitting at the feet of an extremely well-spoken, highly credentialed atheistic professor who very convincingly (albeit deceptively) argues that modern science has finally done away with the idea of a supernatural Creator in the minds of all those “educated enough to have an opinion on the subject.” Maybe it is the divorced mother who gets another call from the principal of her son’s school telling her that he is in trouble again. What else is she supposed to do? She works a full-time job. She comes home to cook and clean. She takes the kids to church, prays for them, begs God to put someone in their lives that can be a father figure, and yet nothing seems to be working. Or maybe it is the mother and father of the little five-year-old girl who is on her third round of chemotherapy. This time there is only a 10% chance that any of the treatments will work, and the odds overwhelmingly indicate their daughter will be gone in a year. These people believe in God, at least they want to, but their circumstances seem to make it nearly impossible to “really” believe. What is God’s response?

“If You Can!”: Your Doubt Is Your Fault

God has never scrimped on providing evidence of His reality and of His power to accomplish anything and everything that He wants to do. When He sent Jesus into the world, He expected honest-hearted people to be absolutely convinced by the evidence He provided of Jesus’ deity. The Old Testament is filled with predictive prophecy documenting the life of Jesus. Jesus did miracles the likes of which no person had ever accomplished. These mighty works validated His claim to be the Son of God. God the Father spoke from heaven at least twice (at Jesus’ baptism and on the Mount of Transfiguration) and claimed Jesus as His Son. Jesus confounded the false teachers with the truth in a way no other human ever had. He was constantly right about everything He ever said while on Earth, including predicting His own death and resurrection. And yet, when He met the apostles in Galilee after His resurrection, as He repeatedly told them He would, “they worshiped Him; but some doubted” (Matthew 28:17). How is that possible? How could Jesus show all those miracles, fulfill all the prophecies, predict His own resurrection—and some still doubt? “O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you?” (Mark 9:19). How much more could Jesus have done to bring about faith in those He encountered?

I often think that we look at those “faithless” people in the first century and feel a moral superiority, thinking that if we had lived in that time, we certainly would have understood Jesus was/is the Messiah and would have followed Him right up to the foot of the cross, never flinching. And yet, we have the whole story. We have seen how it ends, but we still doubt. We doubt that God has a plan for the little girl with cancer, even though He tells us such little children are the citizens of heaven. We doubt that God loves the child or her parents; if He did, surely He would not allow them to suffer so much pain and emotional trauma. Yet, we claim to know and believe that He watched as His own Son hung on a cross, having the power to stop His torture, but allowing it to continue because of His great love for His human creations. The college student doubts the credibility of the Creation narrative, yet the entirety of the modern scientific world has not even been able to build a flying machine that would compare to a common house fly. The divorced mother doubts God’s activity in her life, yet she knows He is the heavenly Father Who sees, and watches, and knows. Doubt about God, His ability, His care, or His plan is never God’s fault, and it is not viewed in the Bible in any positive way. When we doubt, it is our fault, and it will do us no good. “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God” (Hebrews 3:12).

Just Admit It

The father in the story in Mark did what all of us must do. He admitted that his doubt was his fault and begged that Jesus help him anyway. “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). All too often, we want to blame our unbelief on God. We do not directly point a finger to heaven and accuse God of failing us, but our thoughts and words often veil that sentiment. The college student opines that if God really did create the Universe, why didn’t He show Himself more clearly and give us more substantial evidence. The grieving parents wonder why, if God is so powerful and loves us so much, He let their only son die in a car accident. Why would God do that? The homosexual teen, who grew up in a Christian home, wonders how God could have “created” her to have homosexual desires. If such desires are wrong, why did God create her like this? Why would God give Adam a wife who would tempt Him to disobey? How can a loving God cause the death of innocent children in the Old Testament? How can a loving God send people to hell for eternity? And on and on the list goes.

Many times, questions such as these are not asked with a sincere, “I’m honestly looking for an answer” motivation. Instead, they are posed in a way to challenge God’s righteousness, love, power, and care for us. They are often designed to cause, or are the symptoms of, doubt—doubt about God, His moral perfection, His love, and His power. Until we recognize that any and all doubt about God’s care, love, power, and plans spring from our own weakness, then we will not find a solution to our doubt struggle and it will only grow worse and worse. “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed” (James 1:13-14). “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us” (1 John 1:8-10). Until we recognize that our doubt is our fault, it is not good, and God is not to blame for it, we will not be able to get over it. 

Interestingly, I have in front of me as I write, a two-page paper written by a young man who says he does not believe in God. He has titled his explanation for his lack of belief: “The argument from Non-resistant Non-belief.” In a rather lengthy syllogism, he attempts to argue that no perfectly loving God exists. He reasons that if a loving God exists, then no human would ever be “non-resistantly in a state of non-belief.” In other words, no person would be an unbeliever who was not actively trying to resist the evidence for God. And yet, he argues, that he has tried all he can to believe in God, to have faith “as a mustard seed.” He demands that he is not trying to resist God, just the opposite, and yet he does not believe in God. Therefore, he concludes God does not exist. Notice the lengths to which a person will go to avoid taking personal responsibility for his own doubt. He challenges the God of the Bible, instead of recognizing that the fault lies in his own weakness and disbelief. Our doubt is our fault. We must admit it if we want to move past it.

Ask God to Help—He Will

As soon as we, as Christians, recognize that our doubt is our fault, and we admit that, we are in the perfect position to begin finding a solution to our doubt struggles. Notice that the father of the demon-possessed child begged Jesus to help his unbelief. And Jesus healed his son. Do you believe it was easier for the man to believe in Jesus after he saw Him cast the demon out that no other person could, not even the apostles? Of course it was. Jesus readily supplied the man with evidence that would lead his humble, honest heart to a stronger faith in the Son of God.

God will do the same for us. Imagine this prayer: “God, I do not see how my daughter having cancer can be something that a loving Father would do. I do not understand how this can help anyone. But, I believe You sent Your Son to die for me and I believe that ‘all things work together for good to those who love God.’ Please help my unbelief and show me how this can be part of Your plan.” Dear reader, do you believe God would answer such a prayer and open the heart and mind of such a humble soul to gradually understand at least some reasons why He would allow that pain? Do you believe He would help such a parent find comfort drawing near the Creator?

Or can you hear the humble prayer of the struggling homosexual? “God, I know that You are just and all that You do is right. I know that You have said that homosexual behavior is a sin. I do not understand why I have these feelings, and I sincerely believe that I’m trying my hardest to fight them. I know, however, that You have promised that You will not allow me to be tempted beyond what I can handle. Please help me overcome these temptations and my own sinful desires.” Can you imagine that a prayer such as that prayed by a sincere heart with the motivation to overcome temptation and sin would not be met with help from the Father? “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:7-11). “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

When we recognize our doubt as the spiritual weakness that it is, admit that it is our fault and that God is not to blame, and we are willing to humbly ask our God to help us through our crippling doubt, what will happen? “If you can! All things are possible for one who believes” (Mark 9:23, ESV).

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